Dear Traveling Businessman:
I often see you using the baby-changing station in the airport bathroom as a dressing table for yourself.
Outside of an actual open sewer, this is the most poop and pee-covered surface you’ll encounter.
I’m glad you chose to rub your nice suit and suitcase all over it — then drag that poo down the airplane aisle and spread it in the overhead bin for all of us to share.
Have a nice day!